


Blackmail Is Such An Ugly Word; How About Fishpaste?

by amathela



Category: Wizards of Waverly Place
Genre: Drama, F/M, Humor, Incest, Robots, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-25
Updated: 2009-09-25
Packaged: 2017-10-03 08:50:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amathela/pseuds/amathela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Justin uses magic without permission.  Alex catches him.  (And then they fight robots.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blackmail Is Such An Ugly Word; How About Fishpaste?

"Aren't you sick of those things yet?"

Justin turns around, his hands still full of robot parts or whatever, his face flushed and his hair sticking up bizarrely. Well, more bizarrely than usual. But if he looks like a mess, the lair looks like some sort of post-apocalyptic nightmare zone.

"Aren't you sick of annoying me yet?" he asks, and Alex rolls her eyes at him. Yeah, like that will ever get old.

"What are you doing in here, anyway?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he asks, and honestly, if she knew the answer to that, she wouldn't be asking.

"Building a robot?"

"And ladies and gentlemen, she's smarter than she looks."

Well, okay, she knew that much, obviously. There are books on robotic engineering spread out all around him, and, oh yeah, he's kneeling in front of a _giant robot._

"What do you mean, smarter than I look?" she asks. "And, hey!"

"Sorry," he says, and wow. He must really be distracted; that almost didn't look like it hurt at all. "This just isn't going very well."

"How is it supposed to be going?"

"It's supposed to be able to solve complex mathematical equations," he says. "And speak up to seven different alien language dialects."

Right. Because that will come in so handy when he's spending next Saturday night at home alone, wondering why he doesn't have a life.

Or, well, maybe it will. It's certainly answer enough for her.

Alex picks her way through the debris on the floor, trying to clear off a spot on the bench, and eventually she gives up and sits on the floor instead, her back leaning against the edge of the table. It's not the most comfortable position, but she's not going to ask Justin to clear a space for her, like he's doing her a favour, and - well, she could do it herself, but, yeah, like that's going to happen.

"I thought you already had one of those."

"I did," he says, and lets out a hiss as his elbow hits some sort of spare robot part. Or it could just be scrap metal; it all looks pretty much the same to her. "That was the old version. This is the new version."

"New version of what? The Dork-O-Matic 3000?" she asks. It's not like she's really interested, but he's the only one here, and it's either that or do the homework their dad set for her. Plus, she doesn't exactly get why you'd want to program a robot to do a bunch of useless stuff you can already do yourself. It just seems like a lot of unnecessary work to her.

Justin turns around, and fixes her with the look that says he's really busy right now, and she isn't helping him concentrate. So at least she's accomplished something today. "What are you even doing here, anyway?"

"Um, we have wizard training?" A better question might be why is she here before their dad, but hey, she's already five minutes late, and that includes the two minutes she spent trying out her new lip gloss. She can only do so much.

"It's Tuesday?"

"No, it's Thursday. Where have you been?"

"Thursday?" Justin asks, jumping up, and wow. He wasn't kidding. How long has he been down here, anyway? "It can't be! The robot competition is tomorrow."

"Relax," she says.

Justin looks at her, and, okay, he is definitely not relaxed. "Do you know how I can finish this in twenty-four hours?"

"No, I mean relax, as in, this way you won't have time to build your robot, and people might actually think you're cool."

He glares at her, and she shrugs.

"Okay, probably not."

"Alex," he says. "You're not helping."

"Yeah, I wasn't trying to."

"Well, can you?" He takes a breath, and then he says something she honestly never thought she'd hear him say. "Please?"

She rolls her eyes again, but she stands up, placing her hands on the carpet to steady her. Or at least, she places her hands on what was supposed to be the carpet, and she really, really hopes that's engine oil or something all over her palm, because otherwise, gross. This is worse than Max's room.

(Well, almost. She still remembers the marshmallow surprise.)

"Ew," she says, and carefully makes her way over to where Justin is, only tripping twice. "Fine. What do you want me to do?"

"Hand me the Phillips-head screwdriver."

"The whose head what?"

"The screwdriver," he says, and she looks around, eventually finding something that looks like it might be that.

"Fine, but you don't have to yell at me. I'm trying to help you here."

"Yeah, you're being really helpful."

Ooh, sarcasm. _Burn._ "Do you want my help or not?"

He scoffs a little, and Alex briefly considers flinging the screwdriver at his head. "I think Max's guinea pigs would be more useful, and they don't even have opposable thumbs."

And now they're onto science jokes. Yeah, she gets why he has to build robots in order to get someone to hang out with him.

"They used to," she says, and then, "hey! Do you think we could -"

"No," he says, before she can even finish. Well, fine. He'll build an entire robot just to speak a bunch of made up languages he already knows, but he won't do one simple spell that might actually help them? She honestly does not get how his brain works. "We're not turning guinea pigs into guinea people again."

"Whatever," she says, and hands him the screwdriver, which he quickly discards. Okay, so maybe it wasn't a screwdriver. "Do you want my help or not?"

"Your help?" he asks. "No thanks. I think I've got it covered."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Good luck making a new friend." And then she can't help it; she starts laughing, because, come on, that was really funny. "Making a new friend. Get it? Because you're - oh, never mind."

"Hilarious," he deadpans, and she raises her hands to wipe the hopefully-engine-oil onto his shirt.

And Justin, who she never really thought had particularly fast reflexes, catches her wrists and rubs the oil onto her skirt, instead.

"Oops," he says. "My bad."

"Oh, you are so going to -"

"What is going on in here?"

Justin and Alex both turn around at the same time, and of course their dad would come in now, when it looks like she's actually a part of this. There's no way he could have come earlier and just busted her for being late, instead.

Max is right behind him, and he boggles at the mess - and if Max is surprised by the mess, she thinks, this place must be in even worse shape than she thought.

So she needs to distance herself from this, now.

"Alex," their dad says.

Or maybe it's already too late for that.

"I had nothing to do with this," she says, tugging free of Justin's grasp. "Why do people always assume that when something goes wrong, I'm responsible for it?"

"Because Max was with me all afternoon," their dad says, and Max nods happily, apparently oblivious to his meaning.

"Yeah, well, it wasn't me," she says. And then, for good measure, "Justin's building a robot."

"Thank you for that," Justin hisses in her ear, and she smiles, leaning back.

"You're welcome. Now don't you wish you'd asked for my help?"

But their dad is already making his way towards them, and Alex leaps aside, onto the one clear patch of floor she can see.

"Justin," he says. "Is this true?"

"Robot," Alex says, pointing to the not exactly inconspicuous robot standing beside Justin. "Robots parts. What is so hard about this?"

Justin and their dad both turn to glare at her, and she steps back a little, grabbing the edge of the bench for support as she stumbles.

"It was supposed to be finished by now," Justin says. "I'll clean it all up, I swear."

Yeah, like that's going to -

"All right," their dad says, and seriously, that's it? If she'd been responsible for this, he would have at least had a tantrum or something. "Just make sure the lair is clean by tonight."

"You're really -"

"Alex," their dad interrupts her. "Did you finish that homework I gave you?"

Justin smirks at her, folding his arms smugly, and she glares at him in return.

Somehow, she swears, this is all his fault.

-

Alex has no idea how it's possible that wizard training was cancelled, and she still ends up having to do twice as much work as usual. It's not like their dad gave it to all of them, either, to make up for missing the lesson; Justin managed to get out of it because of his stupid robot thing - and, okay, because he already turned in, like, twenty extra credit reports, but whatever, she really doesn't see how that's relevant - and apparently their dad doesn't trust Max to study on his own.

Which, okay, is totally fair, but still. It sucks.

And it sucks double that she's stuck working a shift at the sub station while Justin gets to finish working on his robot. Not that she wants to trade places with him or anything, but it's surprisingly busy for a weekday, and now she has two sets of homework she's behind on.

Well, at least this means she has something to blame when she fails her next math quiz.

She's just finished running drinks for the third time to the rude couple at table six when she decides she's had enough. Seriously, whose idea was it to give out free refills at dinner, anyway? It just encourages them to stay longer, and apparently people don't tip very well when you ask them when they're going to leave.

(Whatever, it's not like their dad gives them the tips, anyway.)

"Justin," she says, marching into the lair. Let the customers sit on their own for a while; maybe it'll teach them a lesson. "When are you -"

And then she stops, because seriously, the lair did not look like this an hour ago.

"Whoa," she says. "What happened in here?"

"Alex," Justin says, stepping hastily in front of his robot. So, she definitely needs to check that out. "What are you doing in here?"

"Um, coming to get you? It's crazy out there, I need some help."

"I'll be out in a minute," he says, but when she tries to peer around him at whatever he's hiding, he moves so she still can't see. Which is definitely a mistake. "Just go wait for me."

"No," she says, like she's actually given it some thought. "I want to see what you're hiding."

"Hiding?" Justin says, and man, he is so bad at this. "I'm not hiding anything."

"Then why are you standing like that?" she asks. "And how did it get so clean in here?"

"Maybe because I cleaned it?" he says, and okay, she may not have much experience in that area, but there's no way he could have done all this in less than an hour.

At least, not the regular way.

"No way did you do all this since I was last here," she says. She doesn't say what she's really thinking, because - well, come on. Justin using magic? Unsupervised? To get out of doing his chores? That's like Alex _not_ using magic to get out of doing her chores.

"Yes, I did," he says. "It's called hard work. I'd suggest you look it up, but we all know how you feel about reading."

"Hey, I know what hard work is," she says. "Why do you think I avoid doing it all the time?"

"Good point," he says, and he's almost managed to distract her from her original line of questioning when the robot beeps and moves behind him.

Justin freezes, and, ha! She knew he was hiding something.

"What was that?" she asks, and she watched Justin's face go a little red as he searches for an explanation.

"That was -"

"I thought that thing wasn't working."

"It isn't," he says. "That was just it ... malfunctioning."

"Mathbot one hundred percent functional," the robot says from behind him.

Alex's eyes widen a little, but, first things first.

"Mathbot?" she asks. "You couldn't have even come up with a cool name for it?"

"It does math," he says, like that makes things better instead of worse. "Besides, it's a work in progress."

"It doesn't sound like it is," she says.

"Well, that -"

"It sounds to me like it's finished. Which is funny, because the last time I saw it, it looked like you stole it from a dumpster."

"I -"

"And the lair is now spotless, which is ... impossible."

"I just -"

"And don't even try to tell me you just worked really fast, and the robot didn't take as much time to fix as you thought it would." Alex steps forward, puts her hands on her hips, and looks him squarely in the eye. "There's no way you did all of this by yourself."

Justin doesn't say anything, but he swallows, his eyes darting away nervously, and there - there it is, the giveaway she's been looking for, the one she didn't think she'd actually find. Because this is Justin, and honestly, if he'd kept insisting he really did do all of this normally, she probably would have believed him.

"You used magic."

At first, she thinks he's going to deny it, but she can almost see the exact moment he gives in. "Don't tell dad."

"Oh my god. I was right!"

"Alex -"

"You used magic without permission," she says, like it's going to get any less weird if she keeps saying it. "This is so cool! This never happens."

"It was just one little spell to clean up the lair," he protests, like she's actually judging him or something. She wants to tell him to shut up, she almost started respecting him for a minute. "And to finish the robot. But only because I really need it for tomorrow."

"Whatever," she says. "You broke the rules."

"I panicked! That grease wasn't coming out of the carpet. And there's no way I was letting Zeke win again tomorrow."

"Again?" she asks. "Wow, you even suck at being a loser."

"Alex -"

"No! Wait, don't distract me. I'm just wondering when would be the best time to tell mom and dad about this, to take the focus off something I've done."

"Please don't -"

"I'm thinking maybe next week, after my Spanish test. Or after my history test. But that might be too far away. Maybe -"

"Alex," he interrupts her, and she tilts her head, like, _what?_ "Please don't tell mom and dad."

"What, like you wouldn't tell on me if our situations were reversed?"

"No, actually, I wouldn't," he says. "I'd probably be too busy trying to get you out of whatever mess you landed yourself in after you broke the rules."

Okay, so, he kind of has a point there. And as much as he's a huge pain in her ass most of the time, Justin usually does have her back.

"Fine," she says, and lets out a sigh, because she really could have used the distraction for when she has to bring home her Spanish test. "I won't tell mom and dad."

"You promise?" Justin asks, looking at her like he doesn't quite trust her.

Which, fine, may be justified, but it still hurts.

"I promise," she says, and then smiles. "As long as you promise to go out to the sub shop and take over my shift."

He looks like he's going to argue for a minute, but eventually he just shrugs. "Fine. I was done here, anyway."

"Fine," she says, and as he's leaving, "by the way, the people at table six hate me. So you may have to deal with that a little."

Justin rolls his eyes, but he doesn't say anything else, and Alex sits down on the bench, savouring her newly earned free time.

Maybe she should try out that lip gloss again.

-

"Justin," their mom says, as they're sitting down to dinner. "Dad tells me you're building a robot."

"Um," Justin says, and darts a guilty look at Alex. She grins, and steals a forkful of mashed potato from his plate. "It's no big deal, really -"

"Yeah," Max says, and nudges Alex. "It's more like a nobot. Get it? Because it isn't finished."

"Funny," she says, and, well, Max obviously believes it is, which is what matters.

"Actually," Justin says, swatting her hand away as she reaches for his plate again, "it is finished."

"Really?" their dad asks, looking up. Alex raises her eyebrows, and Justin glares at her, as if to warn her to keep her mouth shut. "That's amazing. I didn't think you'd be finished so fast. Nice work, Justin."

"Yeah," Alex says, still looking at Justin. "Nice work."

"It's no big deal," Justin says to their dad, and then, to Alex, "don't mention it."

"Of course it's a big deal," their dad says, oblivious to their exchange. "You must have worked really hard on that."

"Yeah, Justin," Alex chimes in. "How did you manage it so fast?"

"Anything's possible when you put your mind to it," Justin says, and there's a definite note of warning in his voice. And, geez, she wishes he'd just relax; it's not like she's actually going to tell their parents, or anything. He's just way too much fun to mess with for her to resist.

"You hear that, Alex?" their dad asks. "Anything's possible. You just need to be willing to put some effort in."

Great, and now she's being lectured. Which is all Justin's fault, again.

She really wishes she hadn't promised him she'd keep his secret.

"I put effort into stuff," she says instead. "Like tomorrow, I'm going to the mall to check out that new store that just opened, so I know whether it's worth taking Harper there next week."

"How noble of you," Justin deadpans, and, okay, he's going to pay for that.

"In fact," she says, "Justin offered to come with me."

"He did?" their mom asks, and Alex shoots a triumphant look at Justin.

"Sure. It was his idea and everything."

"Wow, Justin," their dad says, like he's torn between being proud and being confused. "That's really generous of you, to spend time with your sister like that."

"Yes, it is," Alex agrees, and clutches at Justin's arm for a moment in a show of affection. "So very generous."

Justin's look says he's seriously considering strangling her, but the corners of his mouth curl upwards in something that doesn't quite look like a smile. "Actually," he says, through gritted teeth, "the robot competition is tomorrow, so I'm not sure I'll have time."

Alex pouts at him, making sure their parents are still watching. "But you promised."

"I know," he says, and his voice is kind of strained, like he's trying really hard to keep it even. "But I still haven't tested my robot -"

"Well, you can do that after dinner, can't you?" Her smile brightens. "I'll help!"

Yeah, their parents are totally eating this up with a spoon.

"Ooh," Max says. "Can I help, too?"

"No," Justin says, and seriously, it's hilarious to watch his face changing colours like it's doing right now. "I mean, I think Alex and I can handle it."

"Great," she says. "So we're -"

"But I don't want to be late for the competition," he interrupts, and really, does he not get what she's trying to do here?

"What time does it start?"

"Six," he says cautiously, like he's still trying to figure out a way to beat her.

He never stood a chance.

"Oh, we'll be back by then," she says. "I promise. I wouldn't want you to miss out on your robot ... whatever."

"Competition," he says, and she waves a hand dismissively. Across the table, their parents are practically beaming.

"This is great," their dad says, like he obviously just missed everything that was going on here. "It's so nice to see you two kids getting along. I'd say this calls for dessert later, what do you think?"

"I agree," their mom says, and, okay, so it actually feels good to make her parents happy sometimes. "How about some ice cream?"

"Ice cream. Awesome!" Max says, and their dad has to reach out to sit him back down as he jumps up from his chair.

"After dinner," their mom says, and Max looks slightly less enthused.

"You're going to pay for this," Justin says a few few minutes later, leaning in close to whisper in her ear.

Alex laughs, and takes another bite of his food. "I'm already paying. One secret, remember?"

Justin glowers. Apparently, he's pretty good at that.

"Oh," she says, laying a hand on his arm. "And you don't mind if I watch the Fashion Runway Disaster marathon tonight, do you?"

Yeah, she didn't think he would.

-

"Did you hear they opened a second Suburban Outfitters store in the mall?" Harper asks. Normally, the sound would have been drowned out by the bell ringing overhead, but, well, this is Harper they're talking about; she's kind of a shouter. "They're having a sale next week, we should go."

"You totally read my mind," Alex says, shoving the smoothie back into her locker. "I was going to go there today and hide stuff."

Harper pouts, and Alex rolls her eyes, already working out how she can forestall the lecture about how hiding things isn't in the spirit of a sale.

"It's not a crazy ten minute sale," she says. "Relax. It's totally allowed."

"All right," Harper says, like she's still not really convinced. Which is why Alex wasn't planning on inviting her. "You know I'd come, but I'm having dinner with my grandma tonight. Hey, maybe -"

"Wow, look at the time," Alex interrupts her, because she so does not want to let Harper finish that sentence. "Harper, you should get to class."

"Oh my gosh," Harper says, like she just noticed she and Alex are all alone in the hallway. She gathers her books a little tighter, takes a few quick steps towards the classroom, and then stops. "Alex, aren't you coming?"

"Nah, I'm good," she says, partly because she's trying to avoid another invitation to dinner at Harper's grandma's house, and partly because, well, she really doesn't want to go to science. "I'm going to finish my smoothie. But I'll catch up to you later, promise."

Harper opens her mouth, but there really isn't enough time for her to lecture Alex and make it to class, and they both know it. So she settles for a stern look, and practically runs the rest of the way down the corridor.

"Genius," Alex says, and opens her locker again.

"What was that, Miss Russo?"

Okay, so maybe not genius. Seriously, aren't principals supposed to have better things to do than roam the halls and catch people out of class? Like ... detention rosters, or something. Or, better yet, something that doesn't involve Alex at all.

"Mr Laritate," she says, turning around slowly, like somehow the extra second and a half will help her come up with a better excuse. "I ... like your bolo tie."

Mr Laritate just glares at her, like he knows exactly what she's doing. Which, okay, she's being pretty transparent about it. "Alex Russo. Out of class, I see? And without a hall pass."

"About that, I can explain -"

"Don't try to twist the truth around on me," he says, and since when are people allowed to call her on that? "This isn't my first time at the rodeo, you know."

"Um ... okay," she says, and if it wouldn't pin her up against the lockers, she would probably be backing away right now. Honestly, most of the time she has absolutely no idea what Mr Laritate is saying. "But I actually do have a really good reason for being out here."

His expression doesn't change. "And that is?"

"Justin!"

"Justin?"

Okay, so she didn't actually mean to say that out loud; she just really wasn't expecting to see him round the corner. But, hey, maybe it's fate.

"Yeah," she says, thinking quickly. "Justin. Who is working on, um, a school project. And I'm helping him!"

Justin, who's close enough now that he can hear her, looks surprised at that. Which he shouldn't, really. Does he not know her at all?

"He is?" My Laritate asks.

"I am?" Justin asks, and then, after a very pointed and not at all subtle look from Alex, "I am. And she is. Helping me."

"Really," Mr Laritate says, and it's not so much a question as a comment on the likelihood of Alex helping anybody with something school-related. Or at all.

But, hey, this is Justin. Justin, who almost never breaks the rules. And who, under normal circumstances, wouldn't hesitate to tell Mr Laritate the truth.

Sometimes, having a stick-in-the-mud older brother does come in handy.

"Well," Mr Laritate says finally. "Fine. But you keep an eye on her, you hear?"

"Oh, I will," Justin says, and grips Alex's arm firmly by the elbow. So, they're probably going to have a talk about this or whatever. Fun.

At least he waits until Mr Laritate is gone before he starts yelling.

"Alex," Justin says, and she waits. It's not like she doesn't know exactly what he's going to say; really, she sometimes doesn't know why he even bothers. "You can't go around sneaking out of class and expecting me to cover for you, just because you're keeping one secret for me."

"I didn't sneak out of class," she says, and he raises an eyebrow. "I never went."

"Alex."

"Fine," she says, yanking her arm out of his grasp. "It won't happen again."

"Good," he says. "And -"

"And you're totally still taking me shopping this afternoon," she finishes, before he can. Yeah, like she's letting him get out of that one. "In fact, now that we're both here -"

"We're not leaving school early just so you can go shopping," Justin says.

"But what about -" Alex starts, and then takes in his expression. "No? Okay. Fine, I'll go to class. But you're no fun."

"I wasn't trying to be," he says, like being boring is something to be proud of.

A minute later, when he still hasn't left (and, okay, she's not exactly surprised that he didn't take her word for it), she sighs, and starts down the corridor.

Justin watches her all the way to the classroom, and Alex makes a mental note to take a really long time trying on clothes.

-

It turns out, Alex's idea of taking her time is a lot different than Justin's.

"Are you done yet?" he asks, as she struggles out of the dressing room with an armful of clothes.

Yeah, like that wasn't already getting annoying half an hour ago.

"We've been here an hour," she points out. And she's only tried on about half the stuff she likes. Seriously, this store is even better than the original; she and Harper are definitely coming back for the sale.

"Exactly," Justin says. "How long does it take to try on clothes?"

"Um, this long?" One of the shirts starts to slip out of her grasp, and she reaches for it, shoving the rest of the clothes at Justin. "Help me hide this stuff, would you?"

He holds her gaze for a beat, and then puts the pile of clothes down on a nearby table.

"Justin," she says, as the woman working there comes to collect the clothes. "I wanted those."

"So why don't you just buy them?" he asks.

Okay, so clearly he has no idea how this works.

"Because they're going on sale next week," she explains. Pretty patiently, she thinks. "Which means I hide them now, and come get them when they're half price."

"That doesn't seem like -"

"Don't even say it," she warns. Seriously, he's worse than Harper. "Anyway, it's not hurting anyone."

"Except the people who want the same stuff you do."

"It's not hurting anyone I care about," she corrects. "Besides, this way when I bring home a bunch of new clothes and dad starts to panic, I can just tell him how much money I saved. That usually distracts him."

Justin rolls his eyes, but doesn't bother to argue. Their dad is so easy sometimes.

"Well, you can at least help me find new stuff," Alex says, and pulls Justin along before he can protest. It's all his fault, anyway; if it weren't for him, she'd almost be done already.

"And then can we go home?" he asks.

"Sure," she says. "When I'm done."

"Alex -"

"Justin," she says. "Do you want me to get home early and have nothing to do but talk to mom and dad? About what's on my mind. About any secrets I might be keeping ..."

"Okay, I get it," he says, and he even lowers his voice a little, like anyone here cares about his stupid robot or their stupid deal. "You know, some people might call this extortion."

She gives him a blank look. "Extor-what?"

"It means you're taking advantage of me."

"I'm not taking advantage of you," she says, and - ooh, cute sweater! "I'm blackmailing you. There's a difference."

He sighs. "I was trying to avoid calling it that."

"Why?" She hands him the sweater, and a pair of jeans, and picks up a couple of tops for good measure. "Here, help me carry this stuff to the dressing room."

Justin glares at her, but does it anyway, and she stops to snag a dress on the way. What? They're already here, so she might as well, and it just makes sense to try on a bunch of stuff at once.

"We need to go in ten minutes," he says, as she closes the door to the dressing room, and it's probably lucky for both of them that he can't see the gesture she makes. There's no way she's going to be finished trying all of this on in ten minutes, and anyway, she doesn't see what he's in such a big rush about. He has that stupid robot competition tonight, so what? They've got plenty of time, and really, she thinks it probably wouldn't kill him to miss it.

He probably would kill her, though, so maybe she won't take too long trying on clothes.

The sweater isn't nearly as cute on her as it was on the rack (plus, it kind of itches, so pass), but the tops are nice, and the jeans are definitely a winner. She wriggles out of them, and she's got the dress halfway zipped up when Justin sighs, loudly, outside the dressing room. And, okay, maybe this is taking a little longer than she expected, but she's not about to commit to buying anything unless she's sure she likes it. Anyway, he's the one who volunteered for this.

(Okay, maybe not volunteered, exactly, but it's close enough.)

"I'm nearly done," she says, loud enough for him to hear.

A minute later, after spinning around in a full circle trying to reach the zipper, she thinks maybe she spoke too soon.

"Really," he says. "Because it doesn't seem like it."

"I'm just having a little trouble, is all," she says.

Or maybe a lot of trouble, whatever.

After spending the better part of five minutes trying to get the zipper the rest of the way up, she gives in and opens the door.

"Are you -" Justin says, and stops when he sees her, his mouth still hanging open. Which, seriously, is he trying to catch flies or something?

"Alex," he hisses, leaning closer. "You're half-dressed."

"Yeah," she says. Like, duh. Does he not think everyone else in the store can see her?

"Well, shouldn't you ..." He waves towards the dressing room.

"The zipper's stuck," she says. "Help me with it?"

"Alex, I can't just -"

She doesn't let him finish before she pulls him into the dressing room with her, almost ripping the front of his shirt. Yeah, and she's the one who needs new clothes.

"What are you doing?" Justin asks, looking around. "I can't be in here."

"Relax," she says. They're coed dressing rooms, anyway; it's not like it's the girls' locker room or anything. "It's fine. Just zip me up."

She turns around, and feels Justin's hands run down her back, to where the dress is still gaping open. It makes her shiver, a little, and she blames the fact that his hands are really, really cold.

"I, um," he says, and his voice sounds kind of weird all of a sudden. She wants to tell him that it's really not a big deal for him to be in here with her, except right now she's not so sure about that. "Can you ..."

Oh. Right. Alex reaches up to pull the dress together at the nape of her neck, and a second later, she can hear the zipper sliding shut.

"All done," Justin says, and he sounds a little more normal now, but not entirely. And, okay, maybe he was right about this whole dressing room thing. It is a little weird.

"Thanks," she says, fixing the dress a little, and tries to pretend she can't still feel where his palms pressed against her skin. "So, how do I look?"

He looks her up and down, and she tries not to squirm under his gaze. Seriously, what is wrong with her today? Maybe the air conditioning in here is broken or something.

"You look good," he says finally. "Really good. I like it."

"Yeah, whatever," she says, because it's not like she trusts Justin's fashion sense. She glances at herself in the mirror - and, okay, she does look good. Maybe this one's a keeper.

"You can go," she says after a minute, and Justin rushes out of the dressing room like it's haunted or something. Alex studies her reflection again, and nods.

Now she just needs to figure out how to get the dress back off again without Justin's help.

-

"I told you we'd be late," Justin says, rushing into the sub station ahead of Alex. She rolls her eyes, but, okay, to be fair, they are a little late. Whatever, it's not like it's entirely her fault. If Justin hadn't kept interrupting her to ask when she'd be done, they probably would have been out of there ages ago.

Harper is waiting at the counter, and Justin rushes past her - only partly, Alex thinks, because he's in a hurry.

"Hey, Justin," Harper says to his retreating back, and then, "Alex!"

"Hey, Harper," Alex says, sliding onto the seat beside her friend. "What are you doing here? I thought you had dinner with your grandma tonight."

"That's actually why I'm here," Harper says, and Alex has a bad feeling about this.

She slides back off the stool hurriedly. "Hold that thought, okay?"

Justin isn't in the kitchen when Alex gets there, and she figures he must have gone into the lair. Probably checking on his robot one last time.

And, okay, she isn't that desperate to get away from Harper.

"Max," she says, instead. "What's up?"

Max doesn't answer her for a moment, and she follows his gaze to a sandwich sitting on the counter. He seems fascinated by it, for some reason. It just looks like a sandwich to her.

But, well, she never has been able to really understand what goes in on Max's mind.

Justin emerges from the lair a second later, and comes over to stare at the sandwich with them. Which, really, this is what they're doing with their Friday night? She thinks it might almost be more fun to go to Harper's grandma's house.

"What are we doing?" Justin asks, breaking the silence.

Max looks up, and - great, he's got his thinking face on. This can't be good.

She and Justin both take a step back.

"Fishpaste, wishpaste!" Max says, and when Alex glances back at the counter, the sandwich is gone.

In its place is what looks like a dead fish, and she really doesn't see how that's any better.

"Um, Max?" she asks. "What was that?"

Max frowns at the fish, and then up at her. "It's a wish spell."

"It doesn't sound like any spell I've ever heard," Justin says.

"That's because I made it up," Max says, and Alex really should have guessed.

"You made up a spell to turn a sandwich into a fish?" she asks.

Max pokes at the fish, like it's suddenly going to turn into something different. "It was supposed to be a hamburger."

"Why didn't you just make a hamburger?" Justin asks.

"Because mom wanted me to eat a sandwich," Max says. "I thought I could turn it into a hamburger."

"Right," Alex says, as Justin disappears back into the lair. "Well, have fun eating your fish."

Which she really wishes she hadn't said, because Max just shrugs, like he's actually considering it.

Yeah, there's a reason she doesn't try too hard to understand him, sometimes.

"Alex," Harper says, as she exits the kitchen, and damn. She should have known she wouldn't be able to slip past unnoticed. "I have to go to my grandma's -"

"Okay, well, have fun with that," Alex says, inching towards the stairs.

"- and I was going to ask you if you wanted to come with me."

And there it is. Great. Now she needs to come up with an excuse, fast.

"I'd love to, Harper," she says, "but -"

Which is when Justin decides to come out of the kitchen, hauling his robot behind him.

"- I promised I'd help Justin with his robot competition."

"You did?" Harper asks. What, like it's so hard to believe that she'd volunteer to help her brother out?

(Okay, okay, she knows.)

"You did?" Justin asks, and she elbows him, hard.

"Yes," she says. "I did. And unfortunately, we're already running late ..."

"Oh, that's okay," Harper says. "I totally understand."

Of course she does. It's Justin-related, after all.

"I just wish I wasn't busy tonight, or I'd come help out, too."

"Yeah," Alex says, steering Harper towards the door. "Too bad. Well, bye."

"Wait, do you -" Harper starts, but Alex is already heading back to the kitchen. Maybe she should lend a hand, a little, just to sell it.

"Thanks," Justin says, like he's still getting over the shock of her offering to help. "This thing is really heavy, and I can't find dad."

"Um," she says. "It's not a problem."

Compared to the alternatives of having dinner with Harper's relatives or watching Max try to eat a whole fish, it really isn't.

"Wait," he says, as they haul the robot out of the sub station. And, sure enough, Harper's still there, watching them. "You mean you're actually going to help me with this?"

"Let's just get this around the corner first," she says, grunting a little with the effort. Justin used magic to build this thing; why can't they just use magic to move it, too? "We'll deal with the rest later."

And, well, it's not like she has anything better to do.

-

Justin rejects all of Alex's suggestions that they just transport themselves to the robot competition using magic, and it ends up taking them the better part of an hour to get there. Which means Justin's late, and grumpy, and all Alex wants is some recognition that she's spending her Friday night helping him out, really.

But when she clears her throat pointedly, he only says, "You can go, if you want."

Which is not exactly what she was going for, but -

"Justin! Thank god you're here." Zeke looks frantic as he approaches them, and Alex takes a minute to wonder how so many smart people could honestly believe that this thing is important. "The competition's about to start. I was worried you weren't going to make it."

"You mean, you were worried you might actually win?" Justin asks, and, oh, okay. Geek smack talk. Well, this should be fascinating.

"More like, I was worried you wouldn't be here to witness the awesomeness of my robot," Zeke says. And then adds, unnecessarily, "Because it's awesome. Which you're about to see. Because I'm going to win."

Yeah, so, Alex was wrong. She thinks watching Max try to eat that fish might actually be a viable alternative at this point.

And then Justin says something that isn't even English, and really, are science jokes not enough of a giant flashing loser sign for them? They actually have to trade insults in alien languages?

It ends with Zeke looking genuinely offended at something Justin says - or, well, he could just have something in his eye - and storming off. And Justin looks way too pleased with himself for someone whose next date is probably going to come sometime after his mid-life crisis.

"Well," Alex says. "That was riveting."

"I just told him -"

"Yeah, I don't care," she interrupts him, because it's probably best to nip this thing in the bud. If she starts feigning interest for too long, next thing she knows he's going to start offering to tutor her and trying to teach her his stupid, useless languages.

Then she looks around the room, and -

"This is it?" she asks. For a robot competition, it's not exactly impressive.

Correction: _even_ for a robot competition, it's not exactly impressive.

"What did you expect?" Justin asks, shuffling his robot towards the back of the room.

Alex can honestly say she hadn't given much thought to it, but, well. Probably more than an empty auditorium with some fold-out plastic chairs and a flimsy curtain covering what she guesses is the staging area.

"I don't know," she says, shrugging. "A stadium, maybe some announcer guy who keeps repeating stuff over and over. Snacks."

"That's monster trucks," Justin says, and, whatever. If it's possible, this is even lamer than what she'd pictured.

"So," he says. "Really, you can leave now."

"Yeah," Alex says, and brushes past Justin, who's still struggling with the robot. In the makeshift backstage area, people are yelling, and it kind of makes the fight Justin and Zeke just had seem like a friendly conversation.

And, hey, there are snacks, after all.

So maybe this isn't the worst place she could be spending her Friday night. At least, not compared to her other, sadly limited, options.

"I don't know," she says, and it seems like her presence here is making Justin's eye twitch a little, which is just one more reason to stay. "This seems like it might actually be embarrassing enough to be fun."

Yeah, his eye is definitely twitching. So it's settled.

"Don't you have ..." Justin waves a hand. "I don't know, other places to be? That aren't here?"

"Let's see," she says, and pretends to consider it. "I could have dinner with Harper's family, or I could go home and watch Max turn things into fish. I think I'm good here."

"You're staying?" Zeke asks, and Alex swears he must have super hearing or something. Either that, or he's been listening to their entire conversation. Which, he is Justin's friend, so maybe he really is that awkward. "Awesome! We have an audience."

"Yeah," Justin says, and he sounds about as excited as Alex feels. "It's great."

"See?" she asks, already on her way to check out the food table. Hey, juice! "I'm a welcome addition to the robot ... whatever."

"Competition," Justin and Zeke say in unison.

Alex shrugs, and picks up a cookie. "Sure. That."

Before Justin can say anything else, there's a barely coherent announcement from someone standing at the microphone (which Alex really isn't sure they need; there are, like, ten people in the room, she's pretty sure everyone could be heard if they just shouted), and he and Zeke rush off behind the curtain. After a minute - because it's either that or sit alone in the audience section, and she came here to mock people, not to be worthy of mocking herself - Alex follows them.

"You can't be back here," Justin hisses, and she looks around them. No-one else seems to mind.

"Why not?"

"Because this is the backstage area," he says. "It's for participants only."

"Yeah, well, I'm not staying out there," she says. "Besides, I'm totally a participant."

He gives her a sceptical look. "You are?"

"Sure," she says. "I'm a ... whatever. Technical support."

"Technical support?" Justin repeats.

"Yeah, as in, technically, if you make me go back out there alone, I might not be able to stop myself telling mom and dad how you really got your robot fixed so quickly."

Justin straightens for a minute, and then nods. "Technical support it is."

Exactly. Wow, this blackmail thing is fun.

It turns out, they're doing this thing in pairs. And, predictably, Justin's round is last. So they're not really late, after all. (But it's probably a good thing Harper didn't know that.) Alex hovers beside the snack table, because she didn't actually have dinner, and now that the memory of Max's fish-slash-sandwich has worn off, she's kind of hungry.

She offers Justin a cookie, but he shakes his head, and now that she's paying attention, he doesn't look too good.

"Are you okay?" she asks, and he looks at her sharply.

"What? I'm fine."

"You kind of look like you're going to be sick." Which, if he is, she'd really like to know; these shoes are almost new.

"I'm just nervous," he says, and, oh, okay, so that's what that is.

She's definitely going to be teasing him about that. But probably later.

Now, she thinks it might be a good idea to change the subject.

"When do they start fighting?" she asks, and Justin looks confused for a minute.

"When do who start fighting?"

She gestures towards the stage, where two robots are just kind of sitting there. "The robots. When does the battle start?"

"What are you -" he says, but he's cut off by another announcement from the microphone, rendered mostly unintelligible by the feedback that echoes through the speakers. Seriously, the room is _empty_. What is this guy's problem?

Justin seems to have understood him, though, so maybe it's a geek thing.

"Justin, we're up," Zeke says, and Alex lets out a sigh of relief. Finally. Watching a bunch of dorks stand next to robots for a few hours is not nearly as much fun as she'd hoped. (And, really, it isn't like she'd been hoping for much.)

But, okay, she should probably be supportive or whatever, right? Or at least pay close enough attention so that she has some material to work with the next time she needs to call Justin out on one of his stupid hobbies.

He looks a little surprised when she joins him by the side of the stage, but not like he's entirely unhappy about it. So, maybe she's kind of being a good sister right now, but it's not like she planned it.

"So?" she asks, after what she thinks was possibly the most boring minute of her life. "When do the robots start fighting each other?"

Justin turns to her, which is the first time he's looked away from the stage since the round started. "What are you talking about? They don't -"

"Oh," she says. "There they go."

And, okay, this is getting more interesting. Only a little, but whatever, she'll take it.

Justin doesn't look like he feels exactly the same way.

"Wait," he says, as his robot moves towards Zeke's, batting at it with a metallic arm. "That's not supposed to happen."

"What is supposed to happen?" Alex asks.

"They're supposed to solve -"

"Complex mathematical equations, yeah," she says. "So why is your robot hitting the other one?"

"I have no idea," Justin says slowly, and Alex thinks it might be the first time she's ever actually heard him admit to not knowing something. "It must be malfunctioning."

"Like you put it together wrong?" This was definitely worth coming to, if she can tease Justin about that later.

"I didn't -" And then the colour seems to drain from Justin's face, and he turns to face her. "I used magic to put the robot together."

"I know," she says. "That's why -"

Oh.

"Oh."

"Yeah," he says. "Oh."

Okay, so this could get really bad, really fast. But this is Justin's magic; surely -

No, scratch that. Things are definitely going to get bad. Pretty much now.

Justin has his wand out before she can react, and he guides the robot back down to the floor. Which is a definite improvement over leaving it hovering a foot off the ground, like it had apparently decided to do.

"Alex," he says, as the robot start shooting sparks from its arms. "A little help?"

"Oh, right," she says, and draws her wand, stepping back behind the curtain a little so it isn't so obvious. Not that a floating, spark-throwing robot isn't obvious.

The sparks stop, but a second later, the robot starts hovering again, and then -

"Are those lasers?" Wow, that's actually ... kind of cool. "You built your robot with lasers?"

"No," Justin hisses. "I didn't."

Oh. So, probably not cool, then.

She's in the middle of deciding whether the floating or the laser-shooting is more of an immediate threat (probably the lasers, but that's also funnier) when Justin takes her hand.

"Gialsjay timesday," he says, and everything freezes.

And, okay, so she should be hopping, now. She's really not sure how this spell is supposed to work when more than one wizard is involved, but, well, it probably couldn't hurt.

"This is bad," Justin says, and she'd give him a _no, really?_ look, but it's kind of hard to do that and stand on one leg at the same time. She settles for grabbing onto his shoulder for support, instead.

"Relax," she says, because one of them should probably be calm about this. "We can fix this."

"Really?" he asks, and, well. They can probably fix this. But they might as well be optimistic.

"Really," she says. "We'll just ... fix the robot, and hope nobody remembers what happened."

"Yeah," Justin says. "You're right. Because I'm sure nobody is going to remember a magical floating robot."

"That shoots lasers," she adds, and judging from the look he gives her, that might not have been the smartest thing to bring up.

"Just - help me fix it, okay?" he asks, and he hops off so quickly that she has to turn in half a circle before she can get her balance back enough to follow him. His robot is still hovering a couple of feet off the floor, which, she has to admit, looks really cool now that nothing is moving, and he grabs onto it, trying to yank it back down.

That's not their only problem, though. Zeke's robot is pretty banged up, which they should probably fix if they want to stand any chance of people putting this whole thing behind them afterwards.

"Should I -" she asks, gesturing towards the robot, and Justin nods impatiently.

"Yes," he says, and, fine, he doesn't have to yell. She's only trying to help, and this time, it's not even because she caused it.

Which is definitely something she'll be thinking about later. _This is all Justin's fault._

Only, maybe she has slightly more important things to worry about right now. Like, how on earth do you even fix a robot?

"Fishpaste, wishpaste!"

Okay, so that's not exactly right.

"What did you just do?" Justin asks, looking at the giant fish sitting where Zeke's robot used to be.

She shrugs. "I panicked."

"Well, un-panic. Change it back!"

"Fine," she says, and, well, at least now Max can share in the blame for all this. If it wasn't for him and his fish-sandwich-thing, she might have been able to think of something other than that stupid spell. "I blew it, undo it!"

She really doesn't know if she actually expected that to work, but a second later, Zeke's robot is back. Looking just as trashed as ever, but at least it's a start.

"That's not even a spell," Justin says, and Alex wants to point out that maybe he's focusing on the wrong thing here.

"Yeah, well, neither is 'fishpaste, wishpaste.'"

Justin looks thoughtful for a moment, and then shrugs. "Fair enough."

"So," she says, "how do I -"

"Let me do it," he says, and that's probably a good idea. She still can't concentrate on anything other than fish. Or hopping.

Justin's hands kind of brush her waist as he hops past her, and he keeps one of them there as he waves his wand with the other. So, okay, now she has something else to focus on.

Not anything that's going to help them, though.

She isn't sure exactly what Justin does, but a moment later, Zeke's robot is back to looking ... well, not good, but at least as good as it was before the competition started. And then he seems to notice that he's still holding onto her, and he lets go abruptly, which almost sends her tumbling to the floor.

Luckily, his robot is there to break her fall, and she manages - barely - to keep standing on one leg.

"Now what?" she asks. Zeke's robot is fixed, but Justin's still definitely isn't.

"Now," he says, and then he gets this pained look on his face, like he's having trouble getting the words out. "We destroy my robot."

Alex just blinks at him, because, really?

"We have to disable it somehow," he says. "I don't know any other way to do it."

And neither does she, obviously. Still, it looks like it hurt Justin to make the decision, and that doesn't give her nearly as much pleasure as she would have expected.

"So," she says, "we just trash it?"

"Yeah," he says, sounding defeated. "Come on, before I change my mind."

It's harder than she would have thought to pull apart a robot, and standing on one leg doesn't make things any easier. She almost goes crashing into Justin twice, and his hands keep brushing hers, which normally she wouldn't even notice, but she's been feeling a little weird ever since they went shopping, so she does. And her lack of concentration is definitely getting in the way, because she pulls a little too hard on one of its arms, and the robot starts swaying dangerously.

"Um," is all she really has time to say before it tips over, sending Justin sprawling into her. She stumbles backwards past the curtain, into the thankfully empty staging area, and Justin comes crashing down on top of her.

Which is awkward, and really, really weird. She can his weight pressing into her, heavy but not entirely unwelcome, and that's a really, really bad thought. She tries to move a little, and Justin shifts against her, and okay, this is so not helping. Because he's still lying on top of her, and if this was a movie, this would be the part where he -

Kisses her. Which is exactly what happens. One minute they're just sort of lying there, and the next minute they're kissing, and Alex has to admit that Justin isn't actually bad at this. Not that she's ever imagined kissing Justin, because seriously, no, only now she doesn't have to imagine it, because it's happening. And it's weird, definitely, but not bad weird, and he shifts again, biting her bottom lip, and -

And it's taken her this long to realise that now they're not hopping around any more, time isn't frozen. Which is probably bad.

Justin seems to realise it at the same time, because he scrambles off her, dusting himself off. Or maybe he gets up for an entirely different reason, but she's not thinking about that right now.

"Justin," Zeke says, and Alex can't work out if his timing is excellent, or terrible.

She picks herself up, trying to regain her composure. Justin doesn't offer her his hand, and she doesn't reach out to take it.

"What happened?"

"Um," Justin says, and she hopes it's one of those things where only she can tell how weird his voice sounds right now. "Nothing. What? Um, what's going on?"

"What's going on is that your robot just majorly malfunctioned," Zeke says, and, okay. That's better than what he could have been talking about. "Weren't you watching?"

"Oh," Justin says. "Yeah. It, um -"

"I think this goes without saying, but I'm going to say it anyway. I. Win."

"Yeah," Justin says. "I guess you do."

"You guess? You got totally schooled out there, my friend. Not only can your robot not handle even the simplest mathematical equations, but apparently it can't even stand upright on its own. That's what I call a devastating victory."

But Justin doesn't really look like he's paying attention, and honestly, neither is Alex. She's way too busy being painfully aware that she can probably calculate exactly how far apart she and Justin are standing, even without looking at him. And that she cares.

"Now if you'll excuse me," Zeke says, "I'm going to go collect my trophy."

He leaves without so much as a backwards glance, and Alex finally looks up at Justin. He isn't avoiding her eyes, like she thought he would be, but she can't quite read his expression, either.

"Come on," she says, and pats him lightly on the arm, because, okay, she can totally risk touching him. Neither of them are going to suddenly burst into flames. Probably. "We should probably get home."

Justin nods silently, but he squeezes her hand a little, and she thinks that's probably a start.

-

By the time they get home, Justin seems like he's in a much better mood. Which, considering that his robot just malfunctioned pretty spectacularly in front of all his friends, is a little surprising, but Alex still counts it as a good sign.

"Zeke didn't seem too freaked out about the whole flying, laser thing," she says, because she figures one of them probably has to say something. And nobody else is up to distract them, which makes sense, since it's probably pretty late already.

"I don't want to talk about it," Justin says. But he doesn't say it like he doesn't want to talk about it because he's upset; it's more like he doesn't want to talk about it because he wants to talk about something else instead, and Alex isn't really sure how she feels about that. Mostly, she thinks she's probably been hoping they could pretend that whole kissing thing never happened.

(And maybe there's a part of her that doesn't want that, but she's been trying really hard not to pay any attention to that part.)

"Oh," she says. And then, because she's always favoured diving into things head first, "What do you want to talk about?"

"About -" And, okay, he can't say it either. So that should make her happy.

"Listen, we can -"

"I wanted to -"

Alex laughs a little, because it's better than anything else she might want to do. "You go first."

"Okay," Justin says, and whatever she was expecting, it isn't for him to step forward and take her hand. But ... it's kind of nice? "I'm sorry."

"Oh." She should have seen that coming, right? This should be a good thing.

"If I ... you know. If that made you uncomfortable."

If that made her uncomfortable? Like it wasn't uncomfortable for him?

Or maybe, given the way he's looking at her now, it wasn't.

"It didn't," she says, and that's a lie, but it seems like the right thing to say. Or, more accurately, it seems like anything else would be the wrong thing to say.

"It didn't?" he asks, and takes another step forward, until he's well inside her kiss or clobber radius.

And she really doesn't feel like clobbering him.

"Well," she says, and then, more decisively, "no."

And this is all just way too weird. Because this is Justin, and he's standing there holding her hand like he just walked her home from a date, which maybe he kind of did, like's he's going to -

Kiss her. Which he does. Again.

And she kisses him back. Again.

(And, okay, it isn't horrible. Or even that weird, this time, and Alex is mostly past caring whether that's a good or a bad thing.)

"You know," she says, and maybe this is a monumentally bad idea, but she really isn't thinking about that right now. "I bet I know something that could help cheer you up. You know, since your robot sucked, and everything."

Justin brightens instantly, like he doesn't even mind the insult. Which, yeah, kissing usually does that to boys. Maybe she should kiss him more often?

"You're going to help me build another one?" he asks. Which is so not where she was going with that, and seriously, how is it possible they're even related?

"Sure," she says, and leans in a little closer, giving him a look that probably even Justin can't misunderstand. "That, too."

"Oh," he says, and then, "_oh_," and, yeah, they're definitely going to have to work on his flirting a little.

(But, okay, it can probably wait.)


End file.
